Equestria Host Club
by The Kishin Sesshomaru-Kurai
Summary: Angry at the Sneaky Little Devils known as the Hitachiin brothers, Nekozawa decides to teach the Hosts a lesson by sending them to the show the twins seem to hate so much: My Little Pony! What happens to the misfit Host Club in Equestria? Only time will tell. Set after the Trixie episode "Boast Busters".
1. Chapter 1

"How dare those insufferable brats," muttered one angry Umehito Nekozawa as he stormed away from the Host Club's room. "So what if I watch My Little Pony? Lots of people do! What's that Beelzuneff?" The robed teen paused to listen to his cat puppet. "Yes, Yes, I agree. I think those wretched twins need to be taught a lesson they'll never forget."

-In Music Room 3-

Haruhi was furious at the red-headed twins. "What the hell you two? Why would you torment Nekozawa-sempai like that?"

Her response was a pair of shrugs. "Why wouldn't we?" said Hikaru rather matter-of-factly.

"It's his own fault for wearing that shirt under his robes," added Kaoru as he played his video game.

"That's not my point, you two! Ughh! You two are so obnoxious!" grabbing her bag, the cross dressing girl stormed out, slamming the club room door shut.

"Now look what you've done, fretted Tamaki. "Not only did you anger my beloved daughter, but you've angered Nekozawa-sempai!" shrieked the idiot president. "Just imagine the horrors you've brought upon our heads!"

"Calm down boss!" said the gaming twin. "Everybody knows there's no such thing as magic."

"Yeah," added Hikaru. "Besides, why was Haruhi so upset? She's never been this mad when we messed with Count Freakula, so why is now any different?"

"Didn't you know?" The three looked over at Kyoya. "She really never told you?"

"I thought Haru-Chan told you. I guess not," said the adorable lolita senior.

"Told us what Honey-sempai?"

"Honey-sempai, Kyoya, if you knows something about my darling daughter, you need to tell me right now!" screamed the tall blonde.

"You really couldn't tell? Haruhi watches that 'stupid, babyish, and moronic show' you taunted Nekozawa about," said the cool type.

"Yeah," added the small senior as he ate his cake. "Takashi and I watch it all the time, and sometimes with Haru-Chan. Does that mean Takashi and I are babies?"

"No, of course not Honey-sempai!" apologized the twins. They had no desire to anger the strongest third year student at Ouran Academy.

"Oh, my sweet daughter. She must be so distraught right now because of you two! How dare you hurt Haruhi's feelings you shady twins!"

-Meanwhile, in the Black Magic Club room-

As he added materials to his brewing cauldron, Nekozawa let out a sinister chuckle. "Now, for the final ingredient," he muttered to himself. Looking to his hand, he nodded as Beelzuneff moved around, as if in conversation. "Yes, I know, the most important ingredient," reaching into his robe's pocket, the wizard pulled out several bundles hair. "Hair from the victims of my spell. These were worth the money that Host club guest charged me for these."

Dropping the bundles into his brew, he began laughing to himself. "Let's see how those demons like being stuck in something they seem to hate so much!" As more laughter ensued, the cauldron's contents glowed a light pink before flashing with a pink cloud.

-back to the Hosts-

"What if she never wants to see us again? What if she loses her love for her daddy? Oh the horror!"

"Boss, calm down!"

"Yeah, we'll apologize when we see- whoa. Why do I *yawn* feel so... tired?" No sooner had Kaoru said that had he collapsed, others following suit. For Haruhi, she had been reading in her bed, but the others weren't so lucky. With the hosts out cold, all seven began to glow a light pink. As the glow intensified, the seven hosts vanished in a quick flash and a soft pop.


	2. Chapter 2

As Tamaki slept away, he couldn't have been happier at the dream he was having.

-In the Theatre of Tamaki's Mind-

_"Oh Tamaki- sempai," said Haruhi in a lovely pink dress. "I'm in love-love with you! Please stay with me forever!"_

_"Of course my darling," said the blonde in his white suit. "I'd never leave you." As he and the young brunette embraced, he felt like he was hugging a bush or something grassy. "Haruhi, did you- HARUHI!?" In place of his daughter was a Haruhi-shaped pile of grass. "Nooooo!"_

_-Real life-_

Opening his eyes, the Host Club king found he was laying in the grass. "Curse those twins. They probably abducted me and left me out in their yard." When he tried standing, he fell over rather quickly.

"Whatthe-?" It was then he noticed, his hands were gone and replaced with what looked like white hooves. So, he did the only thing he could: he screamed like a banshee.

"AAGGHH! What on Earth happened to me? I've been turned into an animal! Momma, Haruhi, HELP!"

"Sempai, shut up," muttered a sleepy tomboyish voice. Turning towards the source of the familiar voice, all he found was a small red horse with Haruhi's hair cut.

"H-Haruhi... Is that you?" he nervously asked.

The little horse looked up, and when he saw those chocolate eyes, he knew who it was. "Yeah Tamaki-sempai, why wouldn't I- oh. My. God. No way." In place of the nutty blonde she was expecting, there was a snow white unicorn stallion with her sempai's haircut and violet eyes. His cutie mark was a white rose with a gold crown on top of it. Around the crowned rose were two rings of piano keys, similar to the classic image of an atom. "Sempai, why are you a pony?"

"It's not just me, Haruhi. You are two! I think the others are too! Look!" he pointed his right hoof to tell her where to look.

Laying around she saw several colts with her friends' hair cuts. There was a small pink Pegasus with a blonde mane and tail. In his small pink forelegs, was a familiar pink bunny. Next to him was a very dark blue earth pony she figured was about the size of a particularly quiet apple farmer. On his flank was a shield with a deep blue rose emblazoned on it. _I wonder who those two are?_

Over to her left were a pair of light blue colts with similar hair styles. One with a left facing part was a pegasus with a cutie mark of the corner puzzle pieces with the top left and lower right pieces of a light blue rose. The second was a unicorn with his hair part and the location of the puzzle pieces reversed. Instead of a blue rose, his cutie mark had an orange rose. _Those two must be Hikaru and Kaoru._

The final unicorn was a rich violet with an expertly styled black mane. A pair of familiar glasses rested on his snout as he slept. The tomboyish pony fan smirked when she saw a cutie mark depicting a purple rose on a black notebook.

"Hey guys, wake up!" The out cold colts all started groaning. The twins instinctively squirmed over into each other's arms.

"Not now, Haruhi. Let me and Kaoru sleep," muttered the pegasus as he pulled the unicorn close to him.

"Haruhi, if you don't knock it off, I'm going to increase your debt," muttered the violet unicorn as he got comfortable in the grass.

"I'm serious, WAKE UP!" shouted the young girl turned mare. Her shout got the Hosts moving. Kaoru and Hikaru opened their eyes and promptly started screaming at finding a pony in each other's arms. Honey was initially angry, but his anger was quickly abated when he noticed his friends were turned into ponies.

"Aww. You guys are all so cute!" He turned to the hulking stallion next to him. "Look Takashi! We've been turned into ponies!" A grunt and a smirk were all the little pegasus needed for confirmation that his cousin agreed.

Hearing that word immediately set off bells in the twins heads. "Wait, weren't we teasing Nekozawa-sempai about ponies?" asked Hikaru.

"Yeah," said Kaoru.

Their little exchange made everything click in their "King's" head. "Wait a minute, that means you two miscreants are responsible for our transformation into horses!" Somehow, he managed to gallop over to the twins and start strangling them with his hooves. "I told you not to mess with Nekozawa-sempai. But did you listen me? No!"

Haruhi unsteadily walked over to the hysterical blonde and wrapped her forelegs around his neck to pull him off the twins. "Sempai, let go of them! It's not their fault Nekozawa-sempai went too far!"

"Yes," said Kyoya as he slowly stood up, dusting grass off the notebook he had been laying on. "Unfortunately, we have no way of knowing when this will end. So, given we're in My Little Pony, I say we go to someone who's good at magic."

The small senior lit up just as Haruhi realized a solution. "I know!" piped Honey. "We should go to Twilight Sparkle, or even Princess Celestia!"

The names of the two magic users caused the twins to start laughing hysterically. In response, Haruhi smacked them both upside their heads. "Knock it off you two! You might as well get used to those names. Because Twilight and the Princess might be our best chances of getting home!"

"Hey Haru-Chan, why's your cutie mark a pencil with a rose on the end?" Looking at her flank, she saw how right the foal-sized stallion was. Her cutie mark was a red rose ending with a pencil.

"Aw, man. And here I was thinking my cutie mark would be something that doesn't represent me being a bookworm."

"Don't worry Haru-Chan. I still think you're adorable!"

"Thanks Honey-sempai." Leaning down, she gave him a hug. Unknown to them, that one hug started making Tamaki die a little. "So, now we need to get to Ponyville. My best bet would be to go away from the Everfree Forest. So, that way," she pointed away off towards the East.

"Very well, Haruhi," stated Kyoya as he stood up and grabbed his notebook with his teeth.

"Kyo-Chan, why don't you use your magic?" asked The small blonde as he managed to flutter him and Usa-Chan on to Mori's back. "A lot of people think that by focusing on making it happen, your magic will work." From his new perch, Haruhi got a good look at Honey's cutie mark. It depicted a small pink rabbit with a black sash on its forehead holding a pink rose.

A surprised "hmm" caught Haruhi's attention. Looking over to the purple stallion showed Kyoya levitating his notebook with a light violet aura. "Haruhi, look! I can both walk and use magic now!" Tamaki was prancing around with two rocks in a yellow aura in front of him.

The sight of her Sempai acting so childishly as a pony made her burst out laughing. "You look great, Sempai. You've really gripped it." After a few minutes of shared laughter, the group managed to settle down, enough. "Alright you guys, let's go to Ponyville!"


	3. Chapter 3

As the group wandered away from the forest, they eventually came to a well traveled dirt road. Travelling towards what Haruhi and Honey hoped was Ponyville. As they walked, Haruhi was telling Tamaki, Kyoya, and the twins about the vocabulary of Equestria. "Remember, men are stallions, women mares, and kids are foals. Also, instead of the 'body' at the end of things like everybody, somebody, and anybody, it's 'pony'. We can't let anypony find out about us until we can trust them to help us."

"C'MON Haruhi," groaned Hikaru as he practiced flapping his wings. "That's so stupid." Spreading his wings like Honey had showed him, he made a solid flap and took off. Flapping to get himself stable, he began flying in loops with the small pink pegasus.

Kaoru sighed and looked over to Haruhi. "I get it Haruhi, don't worry. I'll make sure Hikaru gets it too."

"I think it's rather adorable. Such a sweet sounding vocabulary all but guarantees this place will be wonderful!" said Tamaki. Haruhi just sighed to herself at how naive her sempai could be sometimes.

"Oh, don't forget, instead of 'to God', it's 'to Celestia'." As before, a faint scratch of Kyoya's pen on his notebook followed her statement.

Before she could think of anything else, Honey-sempai landed on her back with his arms around her neck. "Haru-Chan! We're almost to Ponyville! See that hill?" The first year followed his hoof and saw the hill their road went around. "Ponyville is right over it! Now we can meet the Mane Six! I can't wait to meet them! Especially Pinkie Pie."

She giggled at the senior's excitement. Feeling her own excitement rise, Haruhi took off. "Let's go you guys! This is a brand new experience for us, so lets go!"

"Haruhi, wait for your daddy! Please don't get yourself hurt!" The insane white unicorn went charging after his 'daughter', with the mismatched twins quickly passing him. Behind the procession, Mori, still holding Usa-Chan for Honey, and Kyoya were walking calmly behind. When the two near-emotionless hosts reached their companions, they found the other five hosts staring at the town.

Pegasi were moving the clouds around and clearing the sky, and down below, everyday members of the town were going about their everyday business. To the four who had never seen the show, the sight was breathtaking. Even the twins were amazed at what they saw. "Hey, you guys new in town?"

Looking up, the teens saw a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane sitting on a cloud above them. Jumping off her cloud, she glided down to the Hosts. "Name's Rainbow Dash," she said as she gestured to herself. "You may have heard of me. After all, I am the fastest pegasus in all of Equestria."

Hikaru leaned over to his brother. "Something tells me she's lacking in the modesty department."

"But she seems like fun to me. Maybe she knows how to have our kind of fun," whispered Kaoru in response.

Haruhi meanwhile took over representing the club mates. "Yeah, you're one of the Elements of Harmony. Word spreads fast about the six mares who saved the Princess."

The rainbow mare started acting like a modest-ish celebrity. "Yeah, that was me and my friends. Nothing big. We just totally owned Nightmare Moon and got back Princess Celestia's sister." She looked at the group of friends. "So, who are you guys?"

"My name's Haruhi, it involves spring time. This little pink pegasus is my older friend, Honey."

"Hi Dash-Chan!" beamed the smallest boy. "Even though I may look like a foal, I'm actually eighteen years old and like being a little childish. That's why I'm so popular with girls."

The lolita boy was quickly pushed aside as Tamaki came forward, levitating a rose in front of himself. "My darling miss Dash, please accept this rose as a token of my friendship, even though it pales in comparison to your radiant spectrum of a mane." The blonde's advance was so sudden that Rainbow couldn't help but blush in response.

"C'mon boss, leave her alone," said Hikaru as he draped his right hoof and wing over his sempai's back.

Kaoru followed suit from the left. "Yeah, I mean first you had the daddy complex with Haruhi, and now you're hitting on random ponies." He and Hikaru shared an evil smirk and had a similar glint in their eyes.

"Looks to me like somepony's a real pervert," said Hikaru in the sing-song voice he used when torturing Tamaki.

"I am not a pervert!" screamed the unicorn stallion. The twins immediately started running from their irate club president. Hikaru hovered above the older boy for a couple of minutes laughing as the older boy jumped up and down like an idiot as he tried to reach the pegasus. Noticing the unicorn brother, he lunged in a tackle of sorts. As he neared the laughing red-head, he grabbed nothing but air when Hikaru picked up his brother from above.

Watching the twins torment Tamaki caused Haruhi to sweatdrop when Rainbow Dash was laughing at the twins' antics. "Yeah, the white unicorn is Tamaki, and the two trouble makers are the twins, Hikaru and Kaoru. Their names literally mean 'light' and 'dark'."

"I can see it. Those two look the part and the names. They certainly look like they know how to have fun," commented the Element of Loyalty.

"Indeed," answered Kyoya. "Unfortunately, their favorite time to have fun is either whenever they know it'll annoy the most people, or when they feel Tamaki deserves to be made fun of." The twins yelling caught their attention.

When they looked over, Tamaki's horn was glowing the same color as the aura on Kaoru's tail. "Boss, no fair!" said Kaoru. "You can't use magic. That's cheating!"

"So, you two cheat all the time when you harass me about Haruhi or torment me in front of others!" shrieked the annoyed colt.

"My point maken," said the shadow king. He turned to Rainbow and gave her his usual smile. "My name is Kyoya, by the way. I'm the actual brains of our little circle of friends." He then gestured towards the silent senior next to him. "And this is the second oldest member of our group, Takashi, but we just call him Mori." The tall stallion nodded in greeting.

The rainbow mane pegasus looked at them all. "You know, you guys are alright. C'mon, I'll show you guys into town." The pegasus flapped up into the air, and started off towards Ponyville, hosts in close pursuit. As they walked along, Haruhi realized a very real problem they had.

"You guys, we don't have any money. We can't buy a house, and we obviously need to get jobs. But we need somewhere to stay for the night." The corporate heirs nearly stopped in their tracks when they realized how right she was.

"Don't worry, Haru-Chan. Usa-Chan and I have a secret. My parents have me keep some valuable objects in Usa-Chan in case I get lost or need some money in an extreme emergency. So, I'd say this counts as an emergency. We can cash them in at a pawn shop so we can get some bits."

Haruhi let out a drawn out sigh of relief. "Honey-sempai, you're amazing sometimes, you know that?"

"Hey guys, you alright?" called Rainbow from above them. She was hovering a couple feet ahead.

"Yeah, Dash. We're alright," replied Haruhi. "Nothing to worry about."

"Ok then. Well then, welcome to Ponyville."


End file.
